Those Fucking Root-Beer Floats

Kids, I’ve gained five pounds in the last 19 days. You’d think with a breast cancer diagnosis I’d have lost five pounds……The first few days upon learning of the diagnosis I literally could not eat…..The news was so earth shaking to me…..I thought I’d never bounce back, let alone how the news affected my family. But that is their story to tell, not mine.

So I’ve discovered beer floats, root-beer-beer floats specifically. If you know me, you know I love beer. If you are new to me, know that I love beer. Did you know some beers mix really fucking will with ice-cream? I know right! What a fanfuckingtastic idea of gluttony and delight.

I just ended a 30 year stand off with root-beer & finally succumbed to the sweet flavor; now I  can’t get enough of that shit. I think each float is 4000 calories, hence the five extra pounds on my gut–all my weight goes to my gut not my ass–

Five pounds may not be much on the grand scheme of shit but considering I worked so hard to drop so much….I dislike seeing the scale climb slightly higher each day….again kids, if I did not know I had cancerous tumors in my breast,  I would not have any idea…. I guess I’m bulking up so to speak for my upcoming double mastectomy in 10 days……10 fucking days and the cancer should be gone from my body!! I’ll probably lose a good 20 during surgery, once all breast tissue and shit is removed. I also know I’ll be all weak and shit. Thank you root-beer floats for giving me a little extra padding, I guess [what a crafty bitch].

Going to take my boobs out the beach for one last stroll along the sand….Seriously, it’s going to be a beautiful fucking day here in North Carolina. We are driving to coast, which is only about an hour and half from us. I’m going to soak up as much of the ocean air, sounds & good vibes as possible. Cause I’m still scared as fuck kids. But I do know I will be in good hands during surgery and warms arms after.

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