So Why Are You Acting Like A Bloody Fool?

Bad Boob, Bad Boob
What’cha gonna do?
What’cha gonna do when they come for you?
Today is the last Friday I will have cancer growing in my breast.
Today is the last Friday I will be concerned with the growth rate/speed and all the horseshit….worrying if it’s spread any further.
Today is the last Friday I will have with own breasts before reconstruction.

This week, I thought I’d be relaxing by finishing shopping, cleaning the corners, stocking pantry & shit…..but….that whore #badboob has had me driving all over the city of Raleigh for various appointments….fuck you so very hard cancer….

Today I’ll be in imaging for a CT Scan & Bone Scan–Just in case she says. Just to make sure the cancer has not spread she says. So we’ll be sure of our game plan on Tuesday [four fucking days] she says.

And yesterday, after finally obtaining a copy of my pathology report, I learned I have 6 tumors and not the 5 I thought for the past 25 days I thought there were 5 menacing fuckers in there…..but no….here 6 goddamned tumors.

Guess what? Life is crazy for everyone right now. My story is no better than yours. We all are trying to wipe shit off our ass. Some are more successful at the clean up than others.

Monday I go in for the ‘Mark up’. I know many of you ladies out there have had implants and went through this….for enhancement sake….I’m curious to hear from the ladies who’ve been ‘marked up’ the day before a mastectomy….Is it as traumatic as I envision?…I just know I’m going to lose my shit.

I’ve been a weepy, emotional mess, blubbering mess recently. Trying to keep my shit together while in the company of others and not dwell too much on upcoming events but I am and I have [sorry babe]. Trying to stay strong for my family with much difficulties. I know husband is dealing with shit from work & I dislike being in superspazz mode when he gets home…. Spazz I am.

Think we completed our shopping this week? Fuck no….Possibly tomorrow….But fuck, not really looking forward to shopping in the last weekend of Christmas madness when everyone and his fucking inbred uncle are cock-blocking the isles while where their fucking jammie [meth maker] pants…..gah. People suck. Cancer sucks more.

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