It’s been four days since my double mastectomy. I’ve been home recovering for the past three days. Having never undergone a surgery before, I really had no idea what to expect as far as recovery.
Motherfuck, it takes me 30 minutes to lay down & get situated….then….I need to pee again….fuck it….more pain meds….another 45 minute snooze then up to empty my bladder.
So physically I feel better than I thought I would. Obviously I’m in a metric fuckton of pain. [In the hospital my pain was a level 35 out of 10, now it’s a manageable 5-6 1/2.] I’m so thankful for my husband keeping my pillows fluffed, feeding me, cleaning me and taking care of the house….any local readers….feel free to pop by Monday or Tuesday so I can catch a nap. Otherwise with five running about, naps & resting will prove to be challenging. Though five has been a tremendous help to me. Getting water, snacks, pillows and hugs. The atmosphere in the home has been one of calm and relaxation….which is good. I wanted no negativity in here at all and there has been none. Life is a negative enough whore bitch as it is….throw in mom who lost her boobs right before Christmas….well let’s just leave that there and say we had a good holiday enjoying each other’s company while playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Mentally I feel traumatized. Can’t believe I discovered the lump 46 fucking days again. [Even with reconstruction, it’s going to take me some time to adjust to the loss of my breasts]. We have been in nonfucking-stop go mode. And while we can begin to breathe a little easier knowing the cancer is out of my body-pretty sure that is the best Christmas present I could have ever given or received for our family-being cancer free.
I knew from my friends who’ve been through breast cancer, part of recovery involves draining the bulb tubes hanging from my chest. These pesky fucking tubes and bulbs are kinda a pain in the ass, but necessity to complete healing. Twice a day I’ve got to drain each bowl, into cup 1 & 2 respectively, and record the fluid. When the plastic surgeons office calls Monday I’ll report my fluid levels over the week–that determines when tubes can be removed. The left side is draining more which is obv since that was the side housing the cancer.
Not to mention walking with my chest completely bandaged, feeling like hell, trying to deal with concealing these bulb tube fuckers. There is no discrete way to do this. Under my clothes they are still bulky as shit. I do know this is temporary.
Next week it’ll be another obstacle I’ll be conquering. I’ve yet to see my chest under the bandages. That won’t occur till my post-op follow up Monday afternoon-speaking of which local folks, if you’re free Monday, I’ve appoint late afternoon in Raleigh. Still can’t div he….hubby will be working.