Why did I throw those spanx away?

Oh yeah, because I was thin. Super thin, thought I didn’t need the conforming under garments any longer. Boy, was I fucking wrong

As soon as the DUKE plastic surgeon said I was too small, therefore not a candidate for DIEPflap, my brain went into ‘fuck that shit’ mode and immediately put on the pounds. Not even in in my own head. Like the exact moment everything I ate sat in my gut and I totally look pregnant, like wtf?

Here I am, lots of extra poundage on me. Knowing I’m a candidate for the Diep Flap, I contact the UNC plastics and burn unit and get an appointment with the Diep flap specialist. He said I had plenty of chunk [not his exact doctory speak] and therefor AM a viable candidate.

In the meantime, I had to see a hernia speaclist, pulmonologist. Plastic surgeon was concerned with my chronic bronchitis and COPD. Said he’d never operated on one so young with COPD. So, got my approval from the pulmonologist. Then fuck. All these hoops are very stressful and traumatic. It brings out my PTSD — being picked, prodded, take this off, show us that —-

Ice cream is medicinal for me – hahah thank you Sonic for putting it into words my exact sentiment. My love for ice cream could be the contributor to my faux pregnant belly – recall ladycave was excavated. So, hmmmm

I’ve cut back on my ice cream intake. Begun walking our newest edition to the family, Sir Edmond Chipperton Of Stonewall. Such a regal name for a regal and special hound.

Back to the fucking spanx. Man, months ago I chucked them in the trash. I still have my flying squirrel of a belly but I was thin and felt good. Light. I feel bad. Heavy. Mind you it’s only about 15 pounds, but fuck me, it’s going to take miles of walking that shit off. For those of you who recall, I literally lost 80 pounds by walking our beloved pup Boston, whom we lost last year. I

I know I can do it again, that’s not my problem. Problem is all the fucking doctors, nurses, questions, all the same questions. I know there are check and measures. Oh yeah, at first they said both, DiepFlap and hernia cold be done together; but got a call this week that Dr. Bhatt wants Dr. Perez to do her umbilical hernia part first. Followed by an eight week recovery. Meaning….fucking meaning…..that puts the DiepFlap off this New Yearish. I begged and pleaded with her if it were a choice give me reconstruction first and I will address the hernia later.

So here I sit, in a new pair of spanx awaiting the call for the date of my DiepFLap.