Damn Greg Gory. I lurves you and shit. Thank for you allowing my to brag on myself. Tell how good I’m feeling. Tell a bit about myself without being met by ridicule, but by studio buzzers and hand clapping and shit. You guys brought a real smile to my face hearing your support.
Had I known all I needed to do to revive this blog was to call into the Woody Show and brag on myself, fuck – I’d have done this months back and shit as I’ve been needing to release and connect with others going through cancer. I feel compelled to still talk about breast cancer and the collateral effects that have wreaked havoc in all aspects of my life.
It’s been almost four years since I found that fucking life changing lump in my tit. Fucker. I knew it. Goddamn breast cancer.
To catch you guys up to speed, I’ve had cancer, chemo and breast reconstruction, complete hysterectomy forcing me into menopause at 42. Oh yeah, now it’s maintenance medication and stretching and not being able to burp or have a proper bowel movement without contorting my digestive tract. And these motherfucking implants. I just want to rip the fuckers outta my body—- for realz and shit. Fun stuff kids.
So while my body is clogged up in the shitter, my personal life it going quite well. I can deal with the pains and creaky bones, because at the end of the day I know my house is filled with love. I’m not interested in material things. Sure, I like new clothes and shiny gems for my ears….but I don’t need a lot of bullshit that others do to make me feel part of society, I’ve never given a fuck about the Jones’s, I just kinda rip-roar trough life like the Kool-Aid man – knocking shit over and hurting myself with every step.
I’ve always played by my own rules. My rules may not work for you and that’s alright by me. Ya know why? Because they’re mine. I don’t try to shove my beliefs in your face and force you to change your thinking if it doesn’t match mine. Nor will I turn my back on you if we’re not in agreement. Some folks feel they are above others. Some folks have elevated themselves to a godlike status. Guess what, I don’t believe in god bitches; therefore I will not bow or bend to meet your code of conduct for life. I realize my way of thinking/acting/being is a bit unconventional, but I live and love with an open heart; always.
You need an open heart when surrounded by sadness and strife. Cancer is one of the most difficult journeys in life. Let’s walk and talk together. Drop me a line. Introduce yourself as you get familiar with my and my voice.
When Woody and crew mentioned they’d upload my bit, I thought nothing of it. Was driving to coast and was excited to get away, hence my call to the show, but then I saw my visitor count climb. Everyday, new folks are searching #badboob. I’m conflicted because I know many of those hits are women afflicted with breast cancer and you’re at a loss as to what to do with yourself, treatment, your family, legacy plan…..I know, it sucks. I also know some of these hits are caregivers, friends, husbands……looking for a glimpse into the ugly ass world of cancer. Hoping to gain insight as to what life might be like for a youngish breast cancer survivor. Hoping to find the right words to say to your loved one. Hoping to find the right socks for her feet or softest blanket for her body. Some are hoping for a quick condensed version of my blog — sorry. You’ll have too read each post and experience it with the raw emotion in which I wrote it. This is my story. Not yours. You should take no offense to the shit I ramble about. Leave if you’re triggered. I, like many, am looking for meaningful connections in which I grow, learn and evolve to my best self. Typos, chemoshits and all.
If you’re here, please say hi. If you’re going through treatment, say hi. If you’re a caregiver, say hi. Let’s connect and talk. Free of judgment. Let’s talk and shit [haha – I’m perceptive enough to know a lot of you will read whilst on the shitter trying, a quick reprieve in the morning to find your calm for the day, escape your own fucked up realities] firstname.lastname@example.org.